It's hard to be responsible

My whole life, I've had a very strong conscience. The only way I can get it to shut up is to do what it says. I know this is a good thing, but it makes my life more difficult most of the time. I see people around me every day that are ok with doing things half-way or not doing what is right because it is more difficult.

I can't do that. In my personal life, this is never too hard on me because in general, it's just always easier to do the right thing. At work, however, it's a different story. In a recent example, I went to Minnesota to fix a problem. However, after I got back, I found out that it's not fixed. I don't want to go back there. It's not really that much more work, but I hated the cold and I don't want to spend a week away from Matt. But I know it's the right thing to do and if I have someone else do it, it'll just look like I'm "passing the buck". So I'm going to end up going back.

Some days I just wish I could do like so many others do and just turn away.

So what are we doing here?

Every day I feel like I'm doing the same thing. The exact events of my day may change a little - talking to different customers, encountering different problems, etc - but I feel like I'm always doing the same thing. I wake up, make my lunch, go to work, come home, eat dinner, watch some TV and go to bed.

Is this what I'm going to do until the day I die? Is this really all that there is in life? If so, what's the point? To incur debt and pay off bills? Is my sole purpose on this planet to survive comfortably?

These questions have been weighing heavy on me for the last few weeks. I know that I have a very good life and I love my husband a lot, but I can never seem to be content with just being content. I don't know what I want out of life. I don't know what would make me happy and keep me happy. I've never found my "passion". Matt's got it and it sometimes makes me jealous.

I understand why people need to be religious. It's a lot nicer to think that we're not alone or that we're working towards something that's bigger than us, but I know that's just not the way it is. We're born, we live, we die - end of story. I see why some people have kids - at least it's a little variety, but in my case, I think it would be selfish to have kids. I know that I would get bored with that, too, and I don't want to screw up a couple more people on this planet. I also understand why some people turn to drugs or drinking - it's easier to cope with the sadness of it all. But I won't let myself turn to any of those options - instead, I wallow in my own self-torture and think way too much.

Not the happiest of posts, but this is what goes through my head every day.

Who decides what's right for you?

Last night Matt and I had an interesting conversation. His dad's neighbor's son (they're close to the family) is bipolar and has been on medication most of his life to regulate him. He's now 18 and is refusing to take his medication. As a result, he's very unstable and has been kicked out of several homes and is believed to be homeless and doing drugs. The conversation that we had was whether he should be forced to take his medication. I say no - it's his choice and he knows the consequences. Matt says that he doesn't know what's good for him right now and he should be forced to take them. Of course, the only way you'll be able to force someone to take medication is to institutionalize them, which can only happen if they're a threat to themselves or someone else.

I am not nearly as severely unstable as this kid, but I do understand the weight of having to choose whether or not to take medication. I haven't been on mine for months and I definitely feel it. I'm supposed to take it to help me control my emotions, but who decided that was a bad thing? I do feel like I'm a different person when I'm on my medication. I'm more numb and content with everything. I'm definitely more stable and generally happy. But it also sucks almost any creativity out of me. I don't get the same strong reactions to things that either make me really happy or really angry (and it's hard for me to tell the difference when I'm not on meds). I guess they take the edge off of everything, but I miss that when I'm on them.

I am definitely in a depression right now and I have considered going back on my meds. One day last week, I came home from work and cried for hours straight. I'm stuck in a rut and don't see a way out of it. I feel like every day is the same and will be until the day I die. When I'm on my meds, I know that emotions will pass. When I'm not, it's hard to see past today. But there are days (0ff meds) that everything is brighter, smells are stronger, almost like a high. I feel like the meds turn me into what other people want me to be, not necessarily what I want to be (not that I know what that is).

Anyway, it's a struggle that I'll probably always have and I understand why this kid made the choice he did - I'm sure he has a bit of an identity crisis and needs to figure out who he is. And I don't think that any of us have a right to decide what's right for him.

Cat adventures with the new house

Now that we have a yard, the cats have a lot more to look at and play with. We let them in the backyard from time to time, unsupervised usually because it's fenced in. The other day, I noticed a lot of ants on the concrete slab near the back door. Upon investigation, I found that one of the little hunters had brought us a present - a dead snake. It was chewed in half and was now being consumed by ants.

Then this morning I was awakened by a rather loud scream, which has become fairly commonplace. Whenever Nite spots a cat in the yard, she lets us know quite loudly. Well, this morning she got so excited about it that she peed some on the floor. I did actually see the cat and it was sitting under the window that she was sitting in. It's kind of funny, actually.

I'm a big softy

So a couple of days ago, Matt went out to fire up the grill so we could have some Cheddarwurst for dinner. He came in shortly after he went outside and said "there's something in the grill and I need your help". I followed him outside and there sure was something in the grill. There was a nest of some sort and a mammal of some sort curled on top of the nest. It was too small to be a cat. Squirrell was my first thought.

The nest was ingeniously constructed - bits of long dried grass, plastic bags, paper instructions, fake leaves (we don't even have fake plants!) and other bits of yard material. Clearly a lot of care was put into this home. I cautiously picked up the plastic bag and a rat scurried out of the grill and into the shed. She left behind eight babies, no more than a day or two old (we had last used the grill a week ago).

Now we were left with a strange dilemma. What to do with the nest and babies? We posted this on Facebook and the general concensus was to close the lid and start the grill. However, killing them was not an option for me. I can't kill a living creature (except bugs inside the house - they're in my territory), much less helpless baby mammals. I wouldn't even have killed the mother if she remained. So we discussed our options - relocate the nest, leave them as they are. We opted to leave the grill cover open and leave the nest - babies and all - as they were with the hope that the mother would come back and move them.

And that's what happened (either that or a bird picked them out one by one). In the morning, all eight babies were gone. It doesn't bother me that we have a rat living in the yard, either. It was there before I knew it. As long as it doesn't start gnawing through our stuff, we're cool.

My Matt phase

Like a lot of other people, I go through different phases in my life. Sometimes it's a selfish phase. Sometimes I like sunflower seeds. Sometimes I decide I want a puppy. Right now, I'm in the middle of a Matt phase. This is one of the better phases to be in. Everything about Matt makes me happy right now. Nothing irritates me (not that there was much that irritated me before) about him. I just can't get enough of Matt. I can't wait to get home and see Matt. Matt Matt Matt.

I sometimes worry that I'm getting too dependant on him. I don't really have much in the way of support here and if something happened to him, I'd pretty much be screwed. But I push those worries away and play a video game or Mancala with Matt. Or maybe we build a model airplane together. I think you get my drift.

My social ineptitude

I don't remember always being so "shy" (hahahaha) in public situations. I guess it's worsened quite a bit since I've moved from Wisconsin. I hadn't realized how bad it was until Jess's wedding last weekend. I wanted to mingle with people and have a good time, but I just got very nervous and stayed a perpetual wall flower. I don't like it, but it's so strong and irrational that I can't overcome it.

I know that it's not my fault and I shouldn't feel bad about it, but I do. I don't like it at all. It keeps me from doing other social things and I don't really feel like explaining my oddball social anxiety to folks so I end up making excuses.

Anyway, thanks Jess for a lovely weekend. I did have a good time, even if it didn't look like it. I feel like I've missed so much of our family's lives since I moved away, but I wasn't going to miss that. Congratulations to you and Jake! Let me know when the pictures are in!

Cheese spread is potentially dangerous

So I guess, according to the FAA, it's theoritically possible to damage an airplane by carrying cheese spread onto it. Matt and I bought a bunch of cheese, including a yummy sharp cheddar cheese spread, and bought a small cooler to carry it onto the plane home. However, through the security screening, we were pulled aside because the cheese spread is considered a non-solid and can't be taken on a plane. Needless to say, neither of us were very happy because they had to confiscate it (and we won't get it back). This was in Wisconsin, for crying out loud! They, if anyone, should know that cheese is not really a dangerous substance. The only way Matt and I thought of causing harm with it would be to run around and scoop some out and put it in everyone's eyes. If we really wanted to do damage, we'd just hit someone over the head with the big sausage we were able to carry on board.

The rules are just getting silly. As Matt said, anyone with a basic knowledge of chemistry could figure out dangerous ways to do harm. They can't catch everything, but I guess they can catch cheese spreads in the meantime.

I really have an awesome husband

I have a weakness for Hardee's mushroom and swiss burgers. Unfortunately (or fortunately, depending how you look at it), there is only one Hardees that I know of nearby, and it's quite a drive away. Matt knows of my taste for the burgers and that I can't find a mushroom and swiss anywhere else that comes close (it's all about the sauce). Today, Matt decided to recreate my favorite treat.

He went online, found a recipe that looked close, went out and bought all of the ingredients and whipped it up for dinner. It was spot on! With the exception of the mess, I'm not sure I could have told the difference.

He's always doing awesome stuff like this - yeah, I'm lucky.

When did this happen?

I have never needed much sleep. Once upon a time, I could easily survive on three hours a night and considered five to be a luxury. I worked hard and partied harder, whether it be actually out with friends or staying home and playing video games until the sun came up. Sometime recently, that changed. I now find myself having to get seven or eight hours a night to avoid being crabby and generally uncomfortable. I've somehow set into a very firm routine - meds and Tylenol PM at 10PM (still can't fall asleep on my own) followed by two episodes of King of the Hill and turn off the TV and actually fall asleep somewhere during one of two Family Guy episodes. Even on the weekends, I don't often stay up past two, which I once considered a very early time.

I guess I'm just getting older.

Artists

I wish I could be considered an artist. Matt and I were watching Bob Ross and The Joy of Painting on Monday (and Sam Wyland afterwards) and it's just amazing how they can take a blank canvas and turn it into something that looks real. I often think that I don't have the discipline to be artistic, but I don't think there's much discipline to it - it seems that those that are artistic just are.

I go through creative streaks once in a while, but I wouldn't call it artistic. I can be technically artistic, like I can write music that I hear on paper with proper notation, but I don't think that's art. I can't write new music.

So for you artsy-fartsy folks, I salute you!

Wow. Just wow.

It's hard not to follow politics these days, and it's almost harder to determine what's what in the stream of crap that's coming out of both sides of the media. I do listen to conservative talk radio with the likes of Andrew Wilkow, Sean Hannity and Rush Limbaugh. I feel that I'm intelligent enough to listen to their opinions, sort through what's fact and what's opinion and then form my own opinions.

Now, I don't agree with everything that President Obama is trying to do. I was not a fan of bailouts, I don't think the government should be buying stakes in auto (or any) companies, and I don't think that healthcare is a "god-given" right. However, there is an issue that came up this week that has caused such a ridiculous uproar in the conservative community that I have to laugh.

President Obama is going to be making a speech to school kids on Tuesday about working hard and staying in school. Holy crap have the talking heads exploded on this. They are saying that he's trying to "indoctrinate" kids into his liberal agenda. WHAT?!?! They are trying to slant it so it sounds like they have a problem with any president making a speech to children, but I distinctly remember President George Bush (Sr) giving a speech on drugs or something when I was in school. Obviously, I don't know what talking heads were saying then, but I bet they didn't have a problem with it.

And what's worse is the people that call into these shows spouting crap that they're hearing. If I hear the word "indoctrinated" once more by a stay-at-home mom who does nothing but listen to conservative radio, I'm going to scream. I wish people would think for themselves.

Outside projects

I now understand why you were always trying to get us to help you with yardwork, Mom - it's a lot of work. Now that I actually have a yard of my own, I actually find myself outside on sunny days mowing, trimming and other fun projects. Right now my biggest project is getting rid of the vines that have overtaken every plant in the back yard. There's a lot of yanking, cutting and swearing. These things are an evolutionary marvel! They intertwine so well that it makes pulling them away from desirable plants almost impossible without destroying the plants I want.

Matt found a dog house behind our shed under several feet of overgrown stuff. That'll make nice firewood during the winter. We've mended fences and found a large dead tree trunk under another very large group of vines. That will be the future site of my vegetable garden. I'm also planning a fruit garden nearby and a cantelope vine. We do have two orange trees already that look like they're going to provide us with a couple of bushels of oranges. We're also planning a flower bed in front of the house. It's a lot of hard work, but it's ok when you actually feel like you're accomplishing something!

No millions for me

I didn't win the Powerball jackpot last night. I didn't even match one number. Bummer. It's been crazy busy at work lately and I sure could have used a vacation. I guess it's back to the grind for me!

I'm ready to rock!

Tomorrow afternoon, Matt, myself, Carolyn and Damon will be heading to Tampa to rock out to the biggest hits performed by Cheap Trick, Poison and Def Leppard. Yeah, it's gonna be an awesome show. I personally am looking forward to Cheap Trick the most because I think they have the most original music out of the three.

This summer, this type of tour seems to be the norm. I know that Styx and REO Speedwagon are also touring together. That would be an interesting show to see as well, but I've spent far too much cash on concert tickets already. I think we're done for the year (unless someone really awesome comes along at a price that we can't turn down!).

I think we're done spending money

I didn't realize how much money a house requires. Since we've moved in, it seems like our bank account is constantly bleeding. There's paint to buy, small items to repair, rugs, major appliances (we had to replace the dishwasher and oven), furniture (because we couldn't just have a futon in this nice living room), tools, yard tools, pest control, etc etc etc. I think we're just about done spending money in large quantities. All that I really have left to buy is a new mailbox and that's easy enough to get. We do have longer term plans (like a multi-game table for the den early next year) but for now, we're focusing on paying off bills. I've got quite an aggressive schedule and if we can stick to it, we'll be in pretty good shape in about 5 years or so.

And every day we wake up or come home, we both think to ourselves how much we love our new house. :-)

That sucks, Mom :(

Mom,

I just found out that you had to have Mocha put down. I almost started to cry, not because I'm sad for the dog, but because I know how close you were and I can almost feel how much you must be hurting. When I think about what it will be like to have to say goodbye to my cats someday, I start to tear up. It's a horrible thought that I usually repress. I plan on calling you tomorrow, but please remember that I'm always here if you need to talk. :(

Green Day concert

Matt and I went to a Green Day concert last night in Orlando. We had an awesome time. We've both been fans of Green Day since high school, but in the last five years they've really emerged into an artistically grown-up band. Their last two albums, American Idiot and 21st Century Breakdown, can both be described as "concept art" and really need to be listened to from start to finish. Yeah, they've both got their catchy singles, but the entire albums are pieces of art.

And those boys know how to put on a show. The concert started kind of late (8PM) and they didn't play until about 8:45 (Kaiser Chiefs opened for them). They played for almost 2.5 hours and did a nice mix of their old and new stuff. Matt and I had floor tickets, but only because I couldn't get seats. However, we found two girls in the front row of the seats that wanted to trade, so it worked out. We didn't end up using the seats, however - we were on our feet the whole time jumping and singing and screaming. I am dog tired today, my throat is raspy and sore, my ankle and knee are yelling at me and I have a blister on my hand from clapping - but it was all totally worth it.

Back in Florida

Last week I was in Phoenix for a work getaway. It was kind of like the Real World - seven of us stayed in one very big house. We got a lot of work done and had some very productive brainstorming sessions on ways we can make our company better. I was in the zone for two days and I couldn't seem to write the ideas down fast enough.

We also had some play time - we saw a Cirque d'Sole show, played some Rock Band, ping pong and pool, watched some movies and went to a dueling pianos bar. I got to know my coworkers better and think it was a great idea!

We're getting there

I just set up my computer (we've only had laptop since we moved) and it went pretty well. Usually when I move a computer, I undoubtedly break something and end up buying new parts to fix it. Not so this time. I guess that's what happens when you buy a factory-built computer and not one made yourself. We've got three of the four walls painted in the computer room now, and I just saw Matt bring in the final color (we've got purple, green and blue already - the last will be a pale yellow). After this, all we have left to paint is the trim in the hallway and den and our bathroom. It's turned out far better than I imagined and it's surprising how much of a difference paint and furniture makes.

We're very happy in our new house and we're just about done making our bank account bleed (for now). Matt gets an allowance every month for home improvement stuff, so from now on, everything is coming out of that.

Almost done

After quite a bit of disorganization on my part yesterday, we got most of our stuff moved into our new house. Unfortunately, it was a very hot Florida summer day, complete with occasional downpours. I didn't think we'd use the whole 17' U-Haul, but we ended up not having room. We still need to move Matt's computer desk, the exercise bike, microwave cart and our regular bikes. We've also got a few boxes and other straggling items to move. And then the cleaning of the apartment starts.

However, we're mostly moved in and it feels good. I had my best sleep last night in over a month. Our cable is installed and life is starting to feel normal again. And we love our new house!

My silly husband

On Tuesday, the cats and I arrived at the new house and I noticed that Matt had beaten us there. However, when I got inside, I didn't see him anywhere. A few minutes later, I saw him come in from the back yard. However, when he came inside, he had a gash on his head and didn't look too happy. It turns out that he had locked himself out of the house. Not just that - he then went in the shed in the back yard and locked himself in the shed. When I was outside, the other car kept beeping, but I kept assuming that I was hitting the button in my pocket. It turns out that it was Matt trying to alert me to his dilemma. He had to kick the doors open from inside the shed to get out. I laughed pretty hard as I was cleaning up his head.



Oh, but it gets better. Yesterday, he locked himself out again! Only this time, I wasn't coming home for many hours, he locked the car in the garage with his keys and cell phone. He had to break the garage window to get in. The mental image of him hanging half out of the window with his legs kicking as he tried to wriggle in make me laugh a lot. That silly husband of mine!

First night in the house

As I mentioned earlier, we deposited the cats in the new house two nights ago. When I got to the house yesterday evening, I found them where I had left them - in our bedroom closet. Nite seemed ok once we got there, but Buffy was having a hard time and wouldn't come out of the closet. So I decided that we would sleep there. I don't know if it's because I was more relaxed or if she was just comforted seeing some of our regular stuff in the bedroom, but she started exploring and is back to her normal self.

I didn't sleep very well. There are a lot of new sounds and we were sleeping on an air mattress covered by our memory foam mattress pad. I am really looking forward to getting settled in.

On a cool note, I saw the shuttle launching as I was exiting the interstate. When I got to the house, I could hear - feel - the shuttle as it was launching - very cool stuff!

I'll be glad when this is done

We've been visiting the house every day (except last night, I needed a break) and doing a lot of work while we're there. It's tiring and I'll be very glad when we're moved in and living in one location. Tonight we transplanted the cats. The trip down was fairly uneventful, although I did have both of them yelling at me the whole time. Once in the house, Nite quickly began exploring, but Buffy found a comfortable spot behind the toilet in the master bath and didn't come out for about an hour. Then she quickly found the litterbox and spent the rest of the time in the bedroom closet. She'll warm up to it sooner than later.



We keep moving two car loads of boxes in at a time. It's finally starting to look like we're emptying the apartment. And now with the cats gone, I can really start to clean this place as well.

Painting pictures

Here are some pictures after a long weekend of painting.

It's a lot of work, but it's worth it

Matt and I are not yet living in our new house, but we are slowly moving our stuff in. We've been to the new place every day since closing, and the apartment is finally starting to look a bit emptier. Up until today, all we've really done is clean. Today, however, we worked hard.

As mentioned earlier, Carolyn is my color consultant and has really earned her pay (of $0 haha). She's helped us pick a color scheme that is working really well. We've gone with a periwinkle blue for the den, hallway near the bedrooms and half the dining wall. Then we've gone with a subtle yellow for the living room and the other half of the dining wall. The kitchen will be a brighter yellow, our bedroom a minty green, our bathroom a light orange (no Home Depot orange this time) and the spare bedrooms a light purple. All of the colors complement each other well and we're going to use them for trim throughout.

Carolyn, Matt and I got a lot of painting done today - we finished the blue and most of the living room. I owe her big time for this!

We finally have a house

So we finally owe a lot of money to a bank for our house. But it's our house now and we can do whatever we want. We're not moving in until next weekend, but we are gradually moving in. Each of us takes a carload of boxes every day. So far, we've mainly done a lot of cleaning, but there's still a lot left to go. Tonight we also blew a lot of money at Home Depot on stuff like blinds and garbage cans. Matt gets an allowance every month for stuff like tools and home improvement stuff. We've got plans - we want to redo the master bathroom, we're building a screened in porch on the back - but those will wait for a while. For right now, we're just painting and fixing a few things here and there.

We're pretty happy with the house and there hasn't really been any buyer's remores. I am looking forward to being completely moved in, but all good things come to those who wait and blah blah blah.

I think we can get excited now

We have our closing in 24 hours. I haven't really let myself get to excited about this whole house thing yet, but I think it's almost time. We've arranged for address changes and utilities and stuff and it seems it's going to happen. Of course, we don't have any keys yet, but I'm pretty sure we will. I'm really looking forward to the house and all of the new work it comes with. We've got plans for painting (Carolyn has volunteered to be my consultant since I have no sense of style at all) and Matt called me last night and said that he and Alex are about to book their tickets. Yay!

Michael Jackson

I know it's been a while since I've posted, and we'll catch up. Obviously, Michael Jackson's death is huge news. I'm not one to get wrapped up in celebrity gossip, but I was on the road in Ohio when he died, and I had nothing better to do but watch the story as it was unfolding. I ended up learning something about myself.

When I oringally heard that he was dead, I was watching a financial show that I watch every night - Mad Money with Jim Cramer - and I was pretty mad that they interrupted my show for celebrity news. I actually thought to myself "he was a perverted freak, he's dead now, don't care." However, because I had nothing better to do (and that was all that was on almost every channel), I watched.

Over the course of the night, I became saddened. Not because he was dead - I didn't know the guy, I wasn't even a fan. I became saddened when I realized how truly sad his life was from the beginning. After a small amount of research on my part, I discovered how he became like he was - he was mentally and physically abused as a kid, he was essentially raised by a corporation and exploited every day of his life, he broke his nose while rehearsing as a teenager (which led to his first nose jobs which never healed right which led to more of them), he had a skin condition called vitiligo which made him lose all pigment in his skin (I've actually known a couple of people with this condition; hell, I dated one) and he was actually acquitted of child molestation charges after his criminal trial. Yeah, the guy made some weird decisions. But he was so messed up in the head from not being allowed to be a kid and from not being able to trust anyone around him, that I can see how it could happen.

What made me even more sad was realizing that I was actually a part of the problem. I believed what I saw on TV - that he bleached his skin to become white, that he was guilty of molesting kids despite being acquitted, that he was just a freak. I learned that I'm not exempt from the "group think" and that I can be pretty mean, just like those people that I try not to be like. I don't know the hard facts either way. What I do know is that he was a pretty talented guy from an early age and that he was entertaining.

Life can change really quickly

Just over a week ago, Matt was despondent about what he was going to do for the summer. He was getting ready to find a job flipping burgers. Then he got one phone call that has completely changed our lives. He received a job offer from the United Space Alliance and will be working on the shuttles this summer and fall. He'll finish out his final year of school, and if they don't hate him, he'll have a permanent job after he graduates.

This means that he'll be in Florida, which is great, and that I can keep working at my current office. This is also awesome. We are now in the process of being pre-qualified for a mortgage loan and we will then start to shop for a new home closer to the cape. We're looking at the Edgewater area, which is the last real civilization before you hit the swamps and forest of the Cape Canaveral national wildlife refuge.

We're excited!

How much is a trillion?

Now that the government is dealing in terms of trillions of dollars, I got to thinking about how much that actually is. There was also a quote on my daily Google home page that sparked the thought, too...

"If you can count your money, you're not a billionaire."

So how long would it take to count to one billion? Let's start with 1000. If you counted two numbers every second (which would get increasingly difficult as you hit the bigger numbers) and didn't stop until you reached your target number, here's how long it would take you:

One thousand - 8 hours
One million - 347 days
One billion - 951.3 years
One trillion - 951,293 years

So yeah, if you're a billionaire, it's really impossible to count your money. And one trillion is really freaking big.

Passionless

I envy the people that have found something in life that they are passionite about. You know them - they just have "that thing" that everyone knows them for. Matt's got his rocket and space stuff. And when he comes home from school every day after studying it all day, he spends more time at home reading and studying it.

Actually, now that I think about it, I don't know too many people that have it. I certainly don't. It's not for a lack of effort. I have tried and tried to find that one thing that sparks my interest and keeps it. I guess I should rephrase the statement to say something that you're passionate about and that means something.

The closest thing I've got is video games. But what can I do with that? Don't get me wrong, I like my job a lot and see myself being here for a while, but I just don't have a passion for it. I could be chasing something that just doesn't exist. After all, what is "passion", anyway? I've always had this feeling that there's more out there for me, but when I think I've found it, the feeling creeps back in.

I think I'm in a bit of a funk.

Pictures are up!

In record time, I've posted our pictures from our trip to Puerto Rico. I've added captions to them all, too. Enjoy! Zach gets in tonight, so I'm sure we'll be pretty busy for the next week.

Puerto Rico - the end of the trip

We've been home now for about an hour. We didn't have any internet access the last two days, so I couldn't post any updates. On Wednesday we went to the attraction that brought us to the island - the Arecibo Observatory. As I mentioned earlier, we were watching the movie "Contact" and Matt mentioned that he wanted to go to the observatory some day. Well, we went. The drive up to it is pretty neat. There's quite a long walk up a steep hill, but once you're there, it's pretty cool. We spent some time in the visitor's center reading all of the displays and finally went out and saw the telescope. It's huge and we have some neat pictures.

Then we drove to the Rio Camuy caves. On the way, I suddenly just knew where we were. I had Matt slow down and I was positive that we were in front of Tony's mom's house. Like I said, I don't remember much of the trip, but I did recognize the area! We kept going on to the caves, and this was one of the more unexpected gems of the trip. We boarded a trolley and headed down into a cave system on a guided tour. It was really neat. I had never experienced anything like it before. Again, we got some cool pictures.

After that, we ate an authentic Puerto Rican meal at Restaurant Taino near the caves. It was pretty good. We then made the long trip back to San Juan and crashed.

We took it easy today and went to a fort in Old San Juan. It was cooler than I thought it would be. The highlight of my day was seeing two large iguanas running around. Matt and I were both pretty much spent by about noon, so we found a beach near the airport and read for a while. We headed to the airport really early - about 4 hours early - but the time flew by.

The trip was a lot of fun, albeit stressful. Matt has vowed never to drive again on foreign soil. My legs are begging for a break. But the experiences we had will never be lost and this was our best-documented trip as far as pictures go. They will be posted soon. My Spanish skills improved a lot. Immersion is really the way to go if you're trying to learn a new language. Of course, it helps when just about everyone speaks basic English and can bail you out when you have that "deer in the headlights" look about you. And Mom - only a little pink on the elbows and a touch of color in the face, otherwise burn free!

This was probably our last vacation for a while. We had talked about driving to the Aztec temples in Mexico when Matt graduates, but with the current state of affairs in Mexico, I'm not so sure that's a good idea. We'll probably just take a cruise.

Puerto Rico - Days 3 and 4

Matt and I really didn't do a whole lot the last two days. We had planned on going to the Arecibo Observatory and a cave system, but they were both closed on Mondays and Tuesdays. We had then planned to go to the island of Culebra, but I couldn't get anyone on the phone for a reservation. So, we just ended up driving around a bunch.

I do have to say that I forgot that sometimes the most relaxing thing to do is nothing. I've put a lot of effort into planning things to do, but one of the most relaxing was sitting on our balcony, reading a book and listening to the waves. We were also able to fall asleep to the sound of waves the last two nights.

We did see some interesting things, but the highlight was walking around Old San Juan this evening. It is really a romantic place at night. We ended up at a night club for dinner, and it made us both feel pretty old. I had a hangover as soon as I walked in (remembering my first trip to Puerto Rico...or not remembering, however you want to look at it). We then wandered around the city on foot and took in a lot of the sights such as the harbor, cruise ships, statues, displays, etc.

We've also benefited from being away from home and out of our comfort zone a bit together. It's good to get out of the routine and we've been communicating a bit more than we have lately. It's a good thing.

Puerto Rico - Day 2

I awoke this morning in our nice hotel room in Humacao, PR. As soon as I moved my legs, I was cranky. As I mentioned yesterday, we hiked for about 3 hours total and I definitely overdid it. All day today, whenever I sit for more than a couple of minutes, my legs tense up and it takes a while to loosen up again.

We left our hotel and were on the road by 10:15 (yes, AM!). I am determined this trip to take trips "off the beaten path" and that we did. We drove from Humacao (on the east coast) to Ponce (south coast) through the mountains. It was a really cool drive.

We arrived in Ponce around 2:00 and we were pretty hungry. We found a pizza place in downtown Ponce, but it was closed. We then drove around looking for somewhere else to eat and eventually determined that people just don't eat here. We did eventually find a neat boardwalk on the ocean with several small shops and ate there. We checked out the local beach and then decided to head for the hotel.

This hotel is definitely the highlight of Ponce for me so far. It's a resort right on the beach. We swam in the Caribbean Sea on a black sand beach and then played volleyball in the pool with a couple of random strangers (two kids from New York City, a guy from Jersey, and a guy that didn't speak English) for well over an hour. It was a lot of fun. We then grabbed some over-priced food at the hotel.

I'm now being eaten alive by mosquitos, so I'm leaving the lobby (the only place we could find wireless internet). I have begged and pleaded to get $20 from Matt to blow in the casino in the hotel, so we'll probably do that before retiring for the evening. :)

Puerto Rico - Day 1

I wrote this last night, but didn't have internet access.

Matt and I arrived in Puerto Rico last night around 11PM. We had a good flight and things went smoothly with our rental car. That’s when the smoothness stopped. We quickly discovered that our GPS didn’t have any of the hotels in its memory and it couldn’t even find the street the hotel was on. We found ourselves driving around San Juan at midnight. Matt quickly had to learn that driving in Puerto Rico isn’t like driving back home – some of the general traffic rules don’t seem to apply. Blinkers are not commonly used, merging consists of just moving over without looking and lane markers appear to be optional. In additional, we seemed to find ourselves in some…interesting…neighborhoods. But after driving today, it appears that there are large steel fences, gates and bars on every building.

Anyway, we eventually found our hotel and crashed. We picked up some maps from the hotel and headed to the El Yunque national rainforest. We found our way easy enough (this was in the GPS) and started driving around. We started with the visitor center and did some reading about the rainforest. We then headed up the narrow, winding road through the rainforest and up into the mountains. We drove as far as we could and parked. We started on a hiking trail and after a long hike of about 2 miles, we found a fantastic observation tower.

We then headed back down (and met a few Wisconsinites on the way – I was wearing my Brewers hat) and got back in the car. We then stopped at another trail. The sign at this trail said that there was a waterfall at the end of the trail. It also said that the hike was .5 miles, round trip. We were tired, but since it was short, we did it. However, it ended up being a very difficult 2-mile hike. We were exhausted when we got back to the car and drove to the hotel.

It's vacation time!

Matt and I haven't had a vacation together since we lived in Hawaii. We don't really count trips back home as a vacation, because they're not really a vacation. We haven't flown anywhere together since we moved back to North America.

Tomorrow, we're changing that. We were watching Contact (one of Matt's favorites) a couple of weeks ago and Matt mentioned that he wanted to go to the Arecebo observatory. I booked our flights and hotels that night. Tomorrow night, we'll be in Puerto Rico for a week.

We're going to hit the observatory, a rainforest hike, a beach (yeah, I know we live in Florida, but the beaches aren't like Hawaii or Puerto Rico), and take in some historical stuff in San Juan. We're really looking forward to it.

The day after we get back, his little brother, Zach, is flying in and will be with us for a week. That'll be exciting, too. We're going to go to the Space Center, maybe Busch Gardens, possibly a canoe trip. It's not very often that we're this active!

Credit card companies

My credit card company has a policy in which they monitor my transactions and if anything looks suspicious, they immediately put a block on my card and no other transactions will go through until I call. I know they mean well and it's hard to get angry with them, but it's getting annoying. This last time it happened while I was on the road in North Carolina. Fortunately, I had another card with me, but if I hadn't, I would have been irked. Anyway, that's why my site has been up and down lately.

American Idol, Season 8

I rarely ever vote for American Idol contestants, but this year I'm voting a lot for one person - Nick Mitchell/Norman Gentle. He can sing, but what I really like is how funny he is. I hope he doesn't lose his sense of humor. And I'd like to discourage anyone from voting for Tatiana Del Torro because I'll probably break my TV if she gets very far. She annoys me so much and I want to throw things at the screen every time I hear her.

It's a gradual process

So I've been trying to teach myself Spanish for a long time now. I've used a combination of Rosetta Stone, a Nintendo DS game, workbooks, watching TV and my newest strategy, subscribing to People in Spanish. I had thought that I wasn't making any progress, but I can pretty much read an entire article in People and understand what it's about. I can't give you a word-for-word translation, but I'm certainly better than I used to be. Here's the problem - I can really only read and write. When I hear people speaking in Spanish, they just talk too fast and I get hung up on what they said three sentences ago. And it still takes me far too long to form a sensible sentence in my head to be able to speak it.

It's progress, though, and as I keep practicing, I'll get there!

A new frontier

Matt and I have decided that our money sitting in a 0% savings account is doing us no good. We have decided to start investing in stocks. Right now, stocks are as low as they've been in years. It seems the perfect time to take some cash and invest. We're going with a fairly safe bet - Microsoft. It's a bit scary, but the potential to make some money is definitely there as well. We'll see how it goes!

When will it end?

What seems like years ago, a story of a missing girl started showing up on the local Orlando news. Every single day since then, I've had to hear about this case. In case you're not sure what I'm referring to, it's the Caylee Anthony case. I am SO sick of hearing about this story. Yes, it's tragic that she was missing and that they found her dead months later. But it's not like this never happens in the world. Unfortunately, this stuff happens often. I'm in Charlotte right now watching the Fox News channel and they're reporting on the story. I really wish they'd stop.

Ungrateful people

It's really hard to keep working hard when the people you're doing it for either don't care or are completely ungrateful. I'm not talking about the company I work for - they're the reason I'm working hard - but instead about a community I'm working at. The first day was ok because the general manager was there and he seemed to really care. But today - when I really worked my butt off - I was left with a couple of managers that really could have cared less. What I was doing entailed going from room to room (over 100 rooms today alone), ripping their call stations off the wall and putting new ones back on. First, it takes a lot of organization to keep everything straight. Second, I've got blisters on my fingers from trying to get these things off the wall. Third, I was on my feet for 8 hours straight and skipped lunch. When I gave them my summary at the end of the day, all I got was complaints. It's frustrating.

To top it off, I received a call about a place I'm supposed to be going to on Saturday. I was informed that they don't plan to give me any help in my task, which means that my day will be similar to today. I told them that I just wouldn't be showing up then. Needless to say, they're helping now.

I'm sure I sound a bit whiny, and I don't need any praise, but it's just hard to work when people don't care nearly as much as you do.

Finally back up

I've been working with my web hosting company for the last week because my site's been down. Looks like I'm back up and running now, though. I'm on the road for the next week. I'm driving up to Charlotte, NC, for work. I could have flown, but it would have taken just as long and cost a lot more between the flight and the rental car. I'm staying in one of those extended stay places and it has a kitchenette and they supply dishes and stuff, so I'll just do a mini-grocery shopping on my way up there and I'll be nice and comfortable.

Laser light shows

There's not much to do in Daytona Beach, not that Matt and I would really do it if they had it to do, anyway. But we (I) have found at least one thing that is fun - laser light shows at the planetarium. Once a year in Madison, I would go to the Pink Floyd Laser Light show presented by Paramount. It was awesome. I'd get to sit in an auditorium full of fellow Floyd fans with light-refracting glasses and chill.

Well, at the Daytona Museum of Arts and Sciences, they have a planetarium and they have laser light shows once a month. Matt and I have gone to one so far, and while it didn't have the production value that the Paramount shows did, they are still respectable and a good time. Basically, they just play an entire album (Floyd's Dark Side the first time) and you stare at the ceiling, mesmerized by the lasers, and you get to disappear for 45 minutes or so.

Tomorrow night we're going to see a Zepplin show and Floyd's the Wall. A good time should be had by all. Matt's not really into Floyd like I am, but he goes to humor me, which I appreciate.

The house of champions

Matt and I are winners. At least, we are when it comes to our fantasy football leagues. For the second year in a row, I won the Madison Area Fantasy Football League. It's a group of guys I used to work with, and this was my 5th or 6th year in the league. It was an impressive victory considering the fact that my first-round draft pick, Tom Brady, was injured for the season in the first quarter of the year.

Matt was the winner of the Tel-Tron Gridiron League. This was comprised of all employees of Tel-Tron. Matt was the only non-Tel-Tron person and was a last-minute addition to the league. It was his first year playing fantasy football and received minimal coaching from me. Another impressive victory.

Yeah, we're winners!