Who decides what's right for you?

Last night Matt and I had an interesting conversation. His dad's neighbor's son (they're close to the family) is bipolar and has been on medication most of his life to regulate him. He's now 18 and is refusing to take his medication. As a result, he's very unstable and has been kicked out of several homes and is believed to be homeless and doing drugs. The conversation that we had was whether he should be forced to take his medication. I say no - it's his choice and he knows the consequences. Matt says that he doesn't know what's good for him right now and he should be forced to take them. Of course, the only way you'll be able to force someone to take medication is to institutionalize them, which can only happen if they're a threat to themselves or someone else.

I am not nearly as severely unstable as this kid, but I do understand the weight of having to choose whether or not to take medication. I haven't been on mine for months and I definitely feel it. I'm supposed to take it to help me control my emotions, but who decided that was a bad thing? I do feel like I'm a different person when I'm on my medication. I'm more numb and content with everything. I'm definitely more stable and generally happy. But it also sucks almost any creativity out of me. I don't get the same strong reactions to things that either make me really happy or really angry (and it's hard for me to tell the difference when I'm not on meds). I guess they take the edge off of everything, but I miss that when I'm on them.

I am definitely in a depression right now and I have considered going back on my meds. One day last week, I came home from work and cried for hours straight. I'm stuck in a rut and don't see a way out of it. I feel like every day is the same and will be until the day I die. When I'm on my meds, I know that emotions will pass. When I'm not, it's hard to see past today. But there are days (0ff meds) that everything is brighter, smells are stronger, almost like a high. I feel like the meds turn me into what other people want me to be, not necessarily what I want to be (not that I know what that is).

Anyway, it's a struggle that I'll probably always have and I understand why this kid made the choice he did - I'm sure he has a bit of an identity crisis and needs to figure out who he is. And I don't think that any of us have a right to decide what's right for him.